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Freedom of religion in the New Gilded Age

 We have recently been apprised of a newly discovered age old constitutional principle. Actually, two, if we want to go back a few years for the second. Senator Blunt, (R-MO), tells us that his proposal that all employers be allowed to impose their moral values on their employees is merely a restatement of 225 years of received constitutional wisdom. Who knew? A few years ago, we were told that corporations are people. The implications of these two novel, yet newly age old, constitutional principles have not yet been plumbed, and I intend to plumb them, or at least start plumbing.

Corporations being people, it follows as the night the day that they may become members of a religion. Not only that, they are free to start their own religions, which, given their unique spiritual needs, they may very well decide to do. While a corporate religion might be relatively unconcerned with issues like abortion or gay marriage, it would no doubt have strong god-inspired objections to engaging in such sinful behavior as bargaining with unions, complying with environmental regulations, manufacturing safe products, or doing or not doing a thousand other things that might offend the tender consciences of its adherents. Banks might form a sect for those who believe that regulation of financial instruments is offensive to god, and they might therefore, in good conscience, indeed impelled by god almighty, justifiably demand the right to engage in their holy rites of financial legerdemain, unhindered by regulation. Who are we to gainsay them? If a corporate conscience is offended, we can’t impose upon its religious freedom by making it obey neutral laws, can we?

 

As for myself, I am contemplating starting my own religion as well. I predict it will outsell Christianity in a heartbeat  You see, it offends my conscience to render unto Caesar, though I have no problem with Caesar rendering unto me. In fact my religion requires it. This, as anyone can see, improves on the Christian formulation. Some might argue that it might make for an unsustainable society, but no sacrifice is too much to impose on society so long as one tender conscience is spared. Actually, now that I think about it, my religion is nothing new. The banks beat me to it. 

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