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Gluten free Jesus

First lets stipulate that there are in fact some people who are sensitive to gluten. Their numbers roughly equal the percent of the population singled out by the Occupy folks. You’d never know it by the way in which “Gluten Free!” is plastered on all manner of food items. For example, today I had some truly horrible bottled Snapple tea. It was not horrible because it was gluten free, but the fact that it did not contain this wheat byproduct was on the bottle, despite the fact that no one in their right mind would suspect a tea would be gluten full.

We go to a farmer’s market in Stonington on occasion. One of the booths features baked goods “with a conscience”. Apparently, there is also a moral component to gluten free foods. Who knew? It puts one in mind of the carbohydrate free craze of the 90s, now blessedly in the rear view mirror.

Since I am entering my geezer years, I am free to be curmudgeonly, and one of my pet mudgeons is the omnipresence of gluten free foods. So, I was more than happy to find out that one of my other pet mudgeons, the Catholic Church, has done the right thing and mandated that Jesus is absolutely, positively, not to be served in gluten free form:

Gluten has become verboten in some circles, but there is no way around it for Catholics receiving Holy Communion; a recent church directive emphatically states that the wafer known as the host must contain gluten.

The reminder comes at “the request of Pope Francis” in the form of a letter to bishops worldwide.

At one time, it was religious communities that were charged with making the wafer for celebrating the Eucharist, also known as Holy Communion, said Cardinal Robert Sarah in the letter. But today the bread can come from less-certain origins, especially online.

A Google search reveals several “gluten-free” wafers for purchase. But according to the church’s guidelines, “Hosts that are completely gluten-free are invalid matter for the celebration of the Eucharist.” The bread must be “purely of wheat.”

via NPR

Look, by the time you eat it, it isn’t wheat anymore anyway, it’s the body of Christ, unless it has gluten in it, in which case the priest’s magic trick doesn’t take hold. Take my word for it. As I’ve said before, I have a degree in theology from Our Lady of Sorrows grammar school. Everyone knows that meat is gluten free, so there’s positively no reason for the deluded gluten freers to be worried. Eat up, and don’t worry; and remember, the wine/blood is totally gluten free.

One Comment

  1. Marty Zeldis wrote:

    John, I’m on your side re the whole Gluten free controversy that’s sweeping the nation, BUT you are falling down on the job. You have promised multiple times that you would keep a running score re the Impeachable Offenses of Donald Trump. You have always been somewhat derelict in this regard but over the last several weeks–maybe even months–there has been nothing but silence from your corner. Am I to take from your silence that there have been no impeachable offenses coming from this administration. For goodness sake, if you really are committed to your promise, you could probably come up with a dozen every day before you even finish breakfast. This faithful Blog watcher is demanding that you get on the stick and start doing your job. Continued silence will cause me to believe that in your opinion Donald Trump has learned from his earlier mistakes and is starting to follow in the path of his fellow Republican, Abe Lincoln. John, I know you have a day job, and I know that keeping a tally could now be an immense undertaking, BUT you made a promise and you must be faithful to your commitment.

    Wednesday, July 12, 2017 at 4:32 pm | Permalink

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