I’ve been feeling rather strange lately. The day before yesterday, Glenn Beck started making sense to me. I’ve found myself growing intolerant of certain types of people, mainly blacks, browns, yellows, gays, Jews, Arabs, Hindus, Buddhists, Rastafarians, Pastafaraians and vegetarians. I’m having trouble seeing why anyone but me should get health care. Public education has been revealed to me for the socialist plot that it is. I feel that I have the god given right to tell women I don’t even know whether they can have an abortion or not, and the right answer always appears to be “not”. I’m fairly certain that the founders of this country conceived of it as a Christian nation, no matter what they said or thought on the subject. I’m attracted to the idea of letting someone like Rush Limbaugh do my thinking for me.
These feelings come and go. At times I revert back to my liberal, pro-thought ways, but it’s getting harder and harder to hold on. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what was happening. Then, a friend drew my attention to this website, and the mystery was solved. I’ve been adopted:
Liberty Counsel is proud to introduce — and invite you to participate in — a vital new prayer program solidly built upon St. Paul’s admonition to pray for our national leaders:
…
Since the landmark 2008 general election, there can be no doubt that a very large percentage of our Nation’s leaders have a liberal mindset. The undeniable fact is that the 111th Pelosi-Reid Congress and the Obama Administration demonstrate a far left political philosophy. And since the President nominates federal judges and Justices of the United States Supreme Court, the judicial branch of government could take on a decidedly more liberal bent as the Obama Administration wears on.
Liberty Counsel has therefore named this special new prayer-in-action program Adopt a Liberal. And that’s exactly what we invite you to do — adopt a liberal who is in authority for regular, intense prayer in accord with St. Paul’s admonition to his disciple, Timothy. In fact, we expect that many of our friends and supporters will choose to adopt many liberals as subjects of regular prayer!
There’s no doubt about it. I am being drawn from the sinful path of tolerance and open mindedness to the godly path of hate and dogma.
Some might say that it’s highly unlikely that I’ve been adopted, since the point is to pick a “leader”. Well, some people aim low. Not everyone has the godly cajones to take on a Hillary Clinton or a Keith Olbermann, or even (and she’s on the list) Olympia Snowe. I’m a perfect target for the unambitious.
I am still trying to resist, but I’m being ineluctably drawn into the bliss of non-thought. If I do not post again, you will know that god’s work has been done in my case, and the prayers of a believer have been answered by a righteous god.
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