This was the last day of my vacation, and I celebrated in fine fashion.
Often, when I am out bike riding, I come upon a turtle crossing the road, and I alway stop and carry it to the other side, so as to avoid squashed turtle. I have always done this without mishap, but those were Connecticut turtles. Today’s turtle was of a different sort. Connecticut turtles generally wiggle a bit and retreat into their shells. This particular Vermont turtle (8 to 10 inches in diameter) did not take kindly to being saved. I actually got him to the other side of the rode without a problem, but he immediately turned himself around, so I attempted to point him in the general direction of safety.
That turned out to be a mistake. Within a short time he had a goodly piece of what the doctors later called my right forearm. In fact, he had such a good grip that he was hanging in the air from my arm, something like a very large, turtle shaped Christmas ornament hanging off a tree. My wife later said that I should have taken a picture, but oddly enough it never occured to me to do so. I did, however, have the presence of mind to get the turtle detached from my arm.
Prudence dictated that I seek medical help. Emergency rooms are few and far between in Vermont, so it took me several hours to get to Bennington, where I proceeded to wait for several more hours for a tetanus shot and a verdict on whether I needed stitches. As it turned out, the answer was no. I did, however, learn from my fellow patients in the ER that I was lucky not to lose a finger, it was probably a snapping turtle, and they make darned good eating. I also learned several theories about the proper way to carry a turtle or otherwise move one across the road. My technique was to hold the turtle on both sides toward the rear. The fellow next to me said you can grab them by the tail; someone else said there is a particular portion of the shell you can press which temporarily paralyzes them (I’m dubious about that one), others suggested prodding with a stick. Everyone seemed to agree that it was awfully funny that I was there because I was bitten by a turtle.
So, I spent the last day of my vacation in the ER because I tried to help a turtle. All clouds have silver linings-despite the wait I must say the folks in the hospital we’re quite nice. The doctor especially was incredibly friendly, even after he found out I was a lawyer.
Tomorrow it’s back to Connecticut and back to reality. But I will have a permanent souvenier of this year’s vacation on my right forearm.
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