CT Blue

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog

Harry Truman

Somewhere, there’s a dog about to be befriended, as Wide Stance Larry Craig has lately learned that Harry had it exactly right. All his old friends, who no doubt knew he was not gay all along, are demanding his resignation. To name a few, there’s John McCain, Norm Coleman, Peter Hoekstra and, in perhaps the most unkindest, if least surprising, cut of all, the Idaho Values Alliance, whose website was until recently festooned with anti-gay articles interspersed with articles praising the not gay senator. Alas, though not from Washington, the Values folks are also not dogs, and they too have abandoned their former friend.

Some of us sitting bemusedly on the side lines are wondering: why haven’t these pillars of rectitude called for the resignation of Diaper Man Senator David Vitter who is apparently really not gay (or at least not exclusively), but has admitted that he frequented prostitutes, an act as illegal as that with which Craig was charged.

I would submit that there are three possible reasons for this disparity in treatment:

1. Republicans believe that illegal sex by a Republican Senator with a person of the opposite sex is okay, while illegal sex (or attempted sex) by a Republican Senator with a person of the same sex is not;

2. Republicans believe that illegal sex by a Republican Senator with any person is sufficient cause to call for a Republican Senator’s resignation, if and only if that Senator can be replaced by a person appointed by a Republican governor.

3. Both of the above.

It is, perhaps, not in our power to determine the answer with certainty. For myself, I incline toward answer 2, inasmuch as it is most consistent with the most predominant character trait of your Republicanas Not Gayus Americanus: Rank Hypocrisy.

Postscript: It should be understood, of course, that the criteria for resignation outlined above apply only to Republican officeholders. We can be sure that our Republican friends would call for the head of any Democrat unlucky enough to just wander into a men’s room while a Republican was tap dancing in one of the stalls.

For myself, I think Craig should stay in office. If it’s okay for the Attorney General to torture innocent people, it should be okay for a Senator to have a little casual sex in a men’s room. Fair’s fair.