The non-apology apology is an American art form. I don’t know if it exists in other cultures, but my guess is that if there are analogs, they reflect the various cultures in which those foreign non-apologies are delivered. Here in the U.S.A., where hypocrisy is itself an art form, the non-apology apology usually consists of some variation of the “I’m sorry if anyone was offended by what really was a perfectly reasonable statement” pronouncement. A well framed non-apology apology is crafted so that the speaker can claim to have apologized, while having in reality attacked the person to whom the apology is directed yet again, and in a manner that shields the “apologist” from further recriminations.
Well, if this form of apology is an art form, then Rush Limbaugh may just be the Leonardo da Vinci of the form. I read it here, but it’s all over the internet:
For over 20 years, I have illustrated the absurd with absurdity, three hours a day, five days a week. In this instance, I chose the wrong words in my analogy of the situation. I did not mean a personal attack on Ms. Fluke.
I think it is absolutely absurd that during these very serious political times, we are discussing personal sexual recreational activities before members of Congress. I personally do not agree that American citizens should pay for these social activities. What happened to personal responsibility and accountability? Where do we draw the line? If this is accepted as the norm, what will follow? Will we be debating if taxpayers should pay for new sneakers for all students that are interested in running to keep fit?In my monologue, I posited that it is not our business whatsoever to know what is going on in anyone’s bedroom nor do I think it is a topic that should reach a Presidential level.
My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national stir. I sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting word choices.
Now if Rush actually wrote this, it’s a masterpiece for which he must be congratulated. I suspect, however, that it was a member of my own profession that penned this monument to hypocrisy. What a gem! It may never be equaled, it cannot be surpassed. A heaping, reeking pile of mendacity from first to last, it will still quiet the mainstream media, which is all that counts, because it uses the words “sincerely apologize” and that’s all they need to see. It matters not that his profession that he never meant to personally attack Ms. Fluke, a lie so brazen that it leaves you breathless, is followed by an entire paragraph attacking her yet again. Note how he artfully incorporates the standard Republican technique that has worked so well in the past: repeat a lie or justification incessantly until the faithful come to believe it and everyone else grows weary. In this case, he takes shelter in the terminology already proffered by Santorum. This technique has been on full display in this birth control debate from the very beginning, as the Republicans try with might and main to cast their war on women as a fight for religious freedom. Finally, Rush (or his lawyer) has invented a new riff on the “I’m sorry if I offended anyone..” theme, for in the end, he’s not apologizing for what he said, but for the words with which he said it. Had he simply, for instance, replaced “slut” with “woman of easy virtue”, all would have been well.
But you know, we all make mistakes, so maybe I’m being harsh and should cut Rush some slack. For instance, the other day I referred to Rush Limbaugh as a steaming pile of dog shit. In my attempt to be humorous, I went too far. I did not mean it to be a personal attack and I want to sincerely apologize to dog shit everywhere.
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