Heil Obama!
Thank you glorious leader for bringing socialism and/or communism and/or fascism and/or totalitarianism to our country. I always knew that making health insurance slightly easier to get, slightly more affordable, and slightly more fair would bring us to a new era, freeing us from the shackles of capitalism and freedom. The day we have all awaited is now at hand.
I write today to offer my services to implement your grand vision. As you know, I have been a steadfast supporter (you can disregard certain posts that were inserted into this blog when I wasn’t looking) throughout the long and arduous struggle against truth, justice and the American Way. Now that we have conquered, it is time to enjoy the fruits of our victory.
I have but one request.
Please, mein Führer, can I be on the death panel? Ever since the summer it has been my ambition to sit in judgment. You can see me below, with some other aspirants, getting ready for our roles in this patriotic process.
I think we can all agree there are certain people that don’t deserve to live: the aged, the infirm, and the Republican. Now, with the death panel authority that I’m sure is buried somewhere in the bill, we can make sure that each is treated according to his or her deserts, and surely none shall escape whipping. You can count on me to ferret out the liberty loving swine that have, until now, stood between us and our communistic/fascistic/socialistic government run utopia. By the time I’m through, there will be no one left to watch Fox, and no Fox left to watch.
Please choose me, you won’t regret it.
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