CT Blue

I subscribe to the digital edition of the Literary Review, a British magazine somewhat like the New York Review of Books, except unlike the New York Review, it really is solely dedicated to reviewing books.

I downloaded the February issue a few minutes ago, and seeing the word “Assholes” on the cover, without further elaboration, I just had to seek out the content inside to which this teaser applied.

Well, I wasn’t disappointed. The book under review is called Assholes, a Theory, by Aaron James. I’m very much hoping the book is as funny as the review, since after reading the review, I felt I just had to get the book. Certain it is that assholes seem to be proliferating faster than most varieties of humans. This perception, which I’m sure is widely shared, may not be true, however. It  may be that assholes may just have thrust themselves into positions of both power and visibility in greater numbers now than previously. Of course this is a chicken and egg sort of situation. Is it, for instance, harder for a non-asshole to get elected to office than for a camel to pass through an eye of a needle because being an asshole is a necessary pre-condition to being a successful politician, or is it because the assholes, once they got a foothold, changed the rules of the game so that only an asshole would want to play? I favor the latter theory. Being a political observer for many years, I would hardly deny that there have always been assholes in the political profession, but never, until recently, has it been the case that one of the two major parties was populated entirely by assholes, while the other was merely dominated by the breed.

As I said, the review is funny, but also perceptive. Certainly you can’t argue with the reviewer’s (Michael Bywater) choices for perfect exemplars of the type:

Identifying them is easy. James fingers, among others, Donald Trump, Silvio Berlusconi, Simon Cowell and Mel Gibson. He claims, plausibly, that George W Bush wasn’t an asshole, but was in thrall to a lot of them, most notably the asshole’s asshole, Donald ‘Asshole’ Rumsfeld. The argument is readily extended. The current coalition government is mostly composed, not of assholes (with the surprising exception of Iain Duncan Smith), but of twats, amateurs and posh fuckwits. It may be a flaw in James’s thesis that he lacks the experience of the Etonian asshole; but, equally, he lacks the counter-argument of royalty, the great advantage of which is that it guarantees that our nominal head of state may, as occasionally happens, be a tyrant, a shmuck or an idiot, but never an asshole because his or her supreme entitlement is constitutionally enshrined so need not ever be exerted.

(via Literary Review – Michael Bywater on Aaron James)

Of course there’s plenty to quibble with there. Mr. Bywater is British, and can be forgiven for his credulous acceptance of James’s assertion that George W. Bush is not an asshole. We Americans know better, but we had far more exposure to the man. So, just as we can be forgiven for not recognizing the “Etonian asshole”, Bywater can be forgiven for not recognizing the American equivalent.

As a man, I was heartened to learn that, while my sex contributes the vast majority of assholes to the planet, women can qualify, as Bywater convincingly demonstrates:

Perhaps controversially, James also questions the belief that assholes are always men. Received opinion has it that a female who betrays asshole qualities is, by simple linguistic convention, referred to as a ‘bitch’. Not so – he cites as an example the rabid right-wing ‘commentator’, the spittle-flecked horror Ann Coulter. The difference? ‘The bitch betrays you behind your back. The asshole fails to recognize [your justifiable complaints] to your face.’

A thoroughly convincing argument. I highly recommend this book review, which is why I’m reviewing it here. It was timely reading for me. I had a trial scheduled for this coming week in which the plaintiff (I’m representing the defendants) is, without doubt, the biggest asshole it has ever been my misfortune to meet, which is saying a lot, because that means he tops any asshole lawyer I’ve ever run into, and though I have nothing but respect for most members of my profession, the assholes among us are of the first water. So, click on the link and read the entire review. Unless you’re an asshole.