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Lindsay Graham to leave the Senate

Washington. In an announcement that shocked Washington, Lindsay Graham, (R-SC) announced today that he was resigning from the Senate for health reasons.

Several days ago, Graham asked for disaster relief for South Carolina, which has been devastated by Hurricane Joaquin. That led to the following:

Let’s just get through this thing, and whatever it costs, it costs,“ Graham told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer on “The Situation Room” on Monday of the devastating floods in his home state.

Graham was among the Republican senators who opposed a federal aid package in January 2013 to assist states hit by Hurricane Sandy, but now he doesn’t remember why.

“I’m all for helping the people in New Jersey. I don’t really remember me voting that way,” Graham said.

Pressed further, he said: “Anyway, I don’t really recall that, but I’d be glad to look and tell you why I did vote no, if I did.”

A befuddled looking Graham explained his sudden decision to the Washington Press Corps.

“I did look into it”, he said, “and it’s true. It was a big deal at the time. But I still can’t remember doing it. I’ve consulted with specialists and they tell me that the only thing that can explain it is early onset Alzheimer’s. I have too much respect for the Senate to continue in office given my memory problems. Who knows what else I’ve forgotten. I owe it to the people of South Carolina to step aside for someone who can remember what they were doing yesterday, because frankly, I can’t”.

Graham’s decision has caused consternation in the studios of the Sunday morning talk shows, which, inexplicably, have had him on frequently as a guest, even though experts agree that his processing problems have been obvious for years.

Graham has no plans to drop out of the presidential contest. “That’s an entirely different matter”, a spokesman said, citing precedent. “Ronald Reagan was senile for the entire time he was in office, and every Republican knows he was the greatest president ever. ”

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