A few months ago I shared a picture of a mug my son got me as a joke on my birthday. It featured a motley assortment of Democrats, some of whom (looking at you, Debbie Wasserman Schultz) no self respecting Democrat would want to acknowledge. I said at the time that my son and his wife couldn’t remember who was on the Republican mug, but hoped that Abe Lincoln would be spared the embarrassment of sharing space with Donald Trump.
Well, I was at the Vermont Country Store today and found the mug, and I’m pleased to say that Honest Abe’s reputation is safe, though, as it turns out, the Donald isn’t on the mug either. I didn’t buy it, but I did grab my phone and take some pictures. I’m not sure I should be pleased to say it looks like no one else bought it either. There were only one or two Democratic mugs left, but there was a whole box of Republicans. While the Democrats were indeed strange Mugfellows, the Republicans are, of course, 10 times worse, but that’s probably not why none of them sold.
Here it is, and it’s a sorry collection to be sure.
While I can’t quarrel with the selection of Joseph McCarthy, who occupies the very first panel, it’s hard to believe that many Republicans want to acknowledge the forerunner to so much of what came later. So, here’s the rest of the rogue’s gallery:
Ted Cruz
Scott Walker
Herbert Hoover
Jeb Bush
George Bush
Mitch McConnell
Marco Rubio
Richard Nixon
Rand Paul
John Boehner
Chris Christie
Surely a sadder collection of mediocrities, incompetents and criminals never before adorned a single mug. It actually makes the Democratic mug look like a collection of the truly great. There are two possible explanations. First, the choice was made by an avid Democrat who didn’t care if they sold any mugs, but just liked mocking Republicans. I think we can reject that one, because that person would also have been responsible for picking the folks on the Democratic mug, and while some of them were or are actually pretty good, the fact is that Debbie and Chuck are there, along with some other losers. The other possibility is that the mug’s makers in China asked a Chinese high school kid to put together the names of some leading Republicans, and this is what they got. That theory has my vote.
Notice who didn’t make the cut. Saint Ronnie, who we are all supposed to now believe was a great president, though he was really truly awful, and the Donald. The missing Ronnie is further evidence for the Chinese high school student, because everyone knows that all Republicans worship at Saint Ronnie’s shrine, and that they actually believe the myths they have invented about him. Here’s the explanation for the unsold mugs. No Republican is going to buy a mug full of Republicans if the guy who sold weapons to Iran is not on it.
As for the missing Donald, I guess even the Chinese high school student couldn’t believe American Republicans would be stupid enough to nominate him. But really, absolutely no one ever went broke underestimating the stupidity of the average Fox viewer, all of whom are Republicans.
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