I get most of my news from an RSS app, and when I peruse the Unread Items, I often come across an article title that I just can’t believe, until I see that it’s from the Onion, and that I shouldn’t believe it. But, the fact is, that a lot of their articles are, in these dizzying times, initially easy to believe are true. That’s a depressing observation when you think about it, but hardly the Onion’s fault.
Today I read about this brief that the Onion has filed (and this has really happened) with the US Supreme Court – – you know, the Court people used to respect.
The Onion is supporting a case brought by a man that was arrested for operating a parody website making fun of his local police department. He was found not guilty, and he brought an action against the cops for violating his free speech rights, he rather foolishly thinking that free speech applied to him, and not just right wing fanatics. His case was thrown out because the court ruled the cops were entitled to qualified immunity, which should actually be phrased as unqualified immunity, but we must preserve appearances.
Anyway, the Onion’s brief is a masterpiece, howlingly funny but also legally correct, though no doubt the 6 nutjobs on the court will not see it that way.
Here’s a small example:
The Onion is the world’s leading news publication, offering highly acclaimed, universally revered coverage of breaking national, international, and local news events. Rising from its humble beginnings as a print newspaper in 1756, The Onion now enjoys a daily readership of 4.3 trillion and has grown into the single most powerful and influential organization in human history.
,,,
,,, The Onion’s keen, fact-driven reportage has been cited favorably by one or more local courts, as well as Iran and the Chinese state-run media. Along the way, The Onion’s journalists have garnered a sterling repu- tation for accurately forecasting future events. One such coup was The Onion’s scoop revealing that a for-mer president kept nuclear secrets strewn around his beach home’s basement three years before it even happened.
…
Americans can be put in jail for poking fun at the government? This was a surprise to America’s Finest News Source and an uncomfortable learning experience for its editorial team. Indeed, “Ohio Police Officers Arrest, Prosecute Man Who Made Fun of Them on Fa-cebook” might sound like a headline ripped from the front pages of The Onion—albeit one that’s considerably less amusing because its subjects are real. So, when The Onion learned about the Sixth Circuit’s ruling in this case, it became justifiably concerned.
The brief even rightly mocks the Supreme Court. No doubt Elena, Sonia and Ketanji will get a kick out of it (and agree with it).
Well worth reading. Absolutely legally correct. A sure loser.
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