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Sarah and MIchelle ready to rumble

In these times of crumbling Empire, dysfunctional government and inept economic policy, we political junkies must take our pleasures where we find them. I wrote last week that if things turned out right we’d have a Michelle Bachmann-Sarah Palin fight to watch soon-the Iron Chef of crazy, if you will. Well, it’s already here. Ed Rollins, Michelle’s soon to be campaign manager (these people will do anything for money) has fired the opening shot, and the Sarah folks have fired back.

Rollins is positioning his candidate as the” just as hot but not as stupid” crazy lady. I’d like to think he’s right on the latter point, since I have a personal stake in believing that it takes a minimal amount of brains to get into law school. Then again, I’ve met some awful dumb lawyers.

This fight promises to be boffo box office and will take the air out of any number of candidacies. Mitt may be right that these two are good for him. He may be the only one positioned, by virtue of his money, to survive the benign neglect that the other candidates will endure. In an ordinary year I’d say this is horrible for the Republic, since the media will be concentrating on these crazy people and not cover the real issues. But there are no candidates for the Republican nomination who one can view as anything short of a national disaster, should Obama manage to succeed in throwing the election their way, so it is almost irrelevant which one gets the nomination eventually. The press is free to cover or ignore as it pleases, because every one of them is spouting inanities, often for the sole purpose of getting that press coverage. Perhaps Mitt, uber-hypocrite that he is, is the best choice, because if Obama does manage to give it away, Mitt would feel no compunction about breaking every promise he made in the campaign.


Tim Pawlenty-down for the count

A while back (I’m too lazy to link) I observed that no one presently running for, or considered as running for, the Republican nomination for President can possibly be nominated. This presents, of course, a paradox, because despite the fact that, when examined individually, each candidate comes up so woefully short that it is impossible to conceive of him/her winning, yet as the night follows day, one of them will somehow be inflicted upon an incredulous world.

I said then that I would have a series of posts explaining why none of these people can win. Recent events have put Tim Pawlenty in the spotlight (I know about Sarah, but she’s always in the spotlight) so lets talk about him.

Tim recently announced his economic plan, which includes such breakthrough ideas as de-funding any government service for which you can find a private alternative on Google. Crazy? Sure, but this is trying too hard crazy. Here’s the thing about Tim. He’s a not terribly smart, but basically sane guy, trying his best to be the craziest guy on the block, but really not capable of pulling it off. Not only that, the fringe people see through him. The Donald was more in sync with the nutcases than Pawlenty will ever be. Pawlenty is trying, but he really can’t resonate with the base; he’s singing off key, so to speak, which is really tough for him because he comes from the same state as Michelle Bachmann, who is certifiably crazy. She sings sweet notes that only the Republican base can hear.

So, Pawlenty’s plan, which is already being laughed to scorn by even Republican economists, is not going to achieve its real objective and, of course, its not going to play with anyone with half a mind, which would appear to be the demographic to which Pawlenty would have the greatest appeal. The Google thing will follow him until the day he drops out, yet it won’t gain him more than a handful of crazies.

He’s doomed folks, along with all the rest of them.

Addendum: One of Pawlenty’s more absurd statements parsed here.


Rudy makes a strategic error

Rudy Giuliani is demanding that Mitt Romney apologize for the one halfway decent thing he did as governor of Massachusetts. I really think Rudy should think twice about this, especially if, as seems probable, he’s thinking about entering the race and repeating his 2008 flameout. Actually, he can’t do that, because this time there’ll be no flame, however brief, to put out. But Rudy thinks he can 9-11himself back into contention, so if he has any brains he’ll think twice about demanding apologies from his fellow candidates for past acts of sanity.

After all, very few of the announced, or even unannounced candidates have engaged in as many acts of sanity as Rudy. When Michelle, and if Sarah, gets in to the race, if they deign to notice Rudy at all it will be to demand that he recant some act of reason or another. And he has a stack of them, enough to make Mitt look batshit crazy by comparison. Abortion rights, gay rights, and if memory serves, even the ultimate sanity of gun control can be laid at his door.

No, Rudy doesn’t stand a chance to win the crazy contest, so if he’s serious about running he should consider letting the pros battle that one out.

O frabjous day!

Is there a way to put myself in suspended animation?

Normally, I wouldn’t want to miss a summer but what with today’s developments, this world will seem to me “a sterile promontory”, the summer something merely to endure, for what is life when one must wait until September for real joy and happiness?

The long awaited 2011 Apple World Wide Developer’s Conference has come and gone, and, for those of us in the know, life will never be the same, what with Lion, IOS5, and iCloud awaiting us.

IOS5 alone promises 200 new features, almost 20 of which were actually divulged. But if those 20 are any indication, we all have so many exciting features we will never use to anticipate. But can mere humans be expected to endure such a wait? I cannot but regard myself with scorn when I think that mere weeks ago I thought my new IPad 2 would assure eternal happiness.

To think that I have lived this long without the sheer joy and happiness that one gets from improved notifications. Now that I know they await me, how am I supposed to put one foot in front of another for the long period between now and when I can finally get notified? My Iphone and IPad experiences will be hollow without Twitter integration, for even though I have only committed one tweet this year, it will be agony knowing that to tweet again I may need to enter my username and password more than once. And though I already have several to-do programs, the deep satisfaction I get from using them will be gone knowing that Apple will have its own app in September, thereby destroying the companies that authored the apps I now have. The list of life altering improvements goes on and on.

This is almost as great as when life as we know it changed when I could buy the Beatles on ITunes, just like Apple said it would. Not, by the way, that I have ever bought a Beatles song on ITunes, for what self respecting child of the 60s did not already have all their CDs. But I sleep better, and my dreams are untroubled and sweet, just knowing that I can buy the Beatles digitally if I should ever get the urge. Many people have forgotten that life altering day when The Fab Four were no longer imprisoned in a jewel case. I have not. And I know that I will never forget where I was when I found out about the hundreds of improvements waiting for me in IOS 5, et. al. (In my office, clicking the refresh button every 15 minutes or so, if you must know)

I only hope I can make it until September. The excitement may prove my undoing.

Calling George Orwell

You may recall that Winston Smith, the protagonist in George Orwell’s 1984 worked at the Ministry of Truth. His job was to revise past history by changing the text in various sources and throwing the originals (or past alterations) down the memory hole. Needless to say it was tedious work, and who could be sure that every scrap of actual or previously altered history had been located and expunged or corrected.

Wouldn’t Winston be happy to know that his job would be so much easier if he just hung on until 2011 or so, when all he need do to correct history is alter the entries on Wikipedia. At least that’s the way Sarah Palin’s fans see it, as they are attempting to alter the entry on Paul Revere to comport with Sarah Palin’s fictionalized account of his actions on that long ago nineteenth of April. Unfortunately for Sarah, Orwell’s vision has not yet been fully realized, as the folks at Wikipedia are pushing back, but Sarah’s folks are not going down without fighting. Her minions point out that there is now an open question about precisely what Paul was doing that night because well respected newspapers have reported what Sarah said, and since they are reliable sources, there is now a legitimate dispute about what Paul actually did.

If I follow that logic correctly, if I can get a legitimate newspaper to report that I said I am Napoleon, there is now an open question of whether I am, in fact, Napoleon. (Let me hasten to add that I am not now, nor ever have been Napoleon, and, more to the point, never thought I was Napoleon)

Perhaps my reaction to this just shows that I’m a bit old fashioned. Maybe Sarah’s fans are post modernists, who see no reason why any particular fact should be privileged over any other. After all, the fact free approach to
politics has been working pretty well for them lately, not to mention the fact free approach to science, so why not extend it to history?

Wildlife in Noank

This seems to be our year for spotting relatively unusual wildlife. This comes, no doubt, from butting up against about 600 undeveloped acres, most of which is a state park. Deer are a commonplace, and not worth remarking upon.

Last week a coyote walked through our yard in broad daylight. Unfortunately he or she did not hang around long enough to allow me to take pictures, but yesterday a Mama turkey and her chicks came through the yard, the chicks doing their best to stay camouflaged. I got my camera and a few decent seconds of video as they scurried to get out of an open area.

Excuse the camera shake. I was using a telephoto lens without a tripod. I love my Olympus EP-1, but cameras without a viewfinder are particularly hard to hold steady.

Mama and the chicks were back today, but we only got a glimpse. I only saw one chick, but the others may have made it into the high grass before I saw them. Needless to say, the presence of the coyote may render their existence nasty, brutish and short.

As to the coyote, no more sightings, but I heard one howling last night.

One for the good guys

A bit of both good and funny news from Florida:

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Last year, Warren and Maureen Nyerges, a retired couple in Naples, Florida, were hit with a mistaken foreclosure lawsuit by the Bank of America (remember, it’s the Bank of Satan). They had paid cash for their house in 2009, no mortgage, and thus no grounds for a foreclosure suit. The bank dropped the case but never reimbursed the Nyerges for their attorney’s fees.

Yesterday, their lawyer and a couple cops went into the local BofA branch and threatened to start taking furniture unless the manager cut a check for the $2,534 in lawyer’s fees right then and there. It worked!

Their lawyer, a badass by the name of Todd Allen, said before entering the bank: “I’m leaving the building with either cash, a check or a whole lot of furniture.” Allen had tried to wheedle the money out of the bank to no avail; long story short, things degenerated to the point of Allen having to “stride” into the bank with “two burly Collier County sheriff’s deputies,” a moving company waiting outside to take BofA’s stuff.

Congratulations to Todd Allen. While I’m sure he actually preferred to get his money, speaking for the rest of us it’s a shame that they didn’t have to take the furniture.

This case brought to mind an experience I had some years ago with MERS, the organization that holds nominal title to millions of mortgages so that banks can play games with the title without, you know, actually telling anyone. Were anyone else to do what the banks do through MERS, they would be considered common criminals engaged in a conspiracy to commit fraud, but, seeing as they’re banks, no one seems to mind.

Anyway, I had a case years ago in which MERS was the nominal plaintiff. They were foreclosing on my client. This was not a subprime case; it actually hearkened back to a more time honored type of fraud. My client had been scammed by a home improvement contractor who arranged a second mortgage through whatever bank had originally held title in the first place. Consumer protection laws passed in the 60s and 70s changed previous “holder in due course” rules, which essentially allowed banks to avoid responsibility for the folks who were using them to defraud, so I was able to raise the fraud as a defense and counterclaim directly against MERS. Judge Hurley, bless his memory, who could be a bit of a curmudgeon but was basically sympathetic toward the defrauded, voided the mortgage and awarded me attorneys fees.

That was when I discovered what a shadowy organization MERS actually was. They were probably not used to being on the receiving end of a judgment, but in any event, voluntary payment seemed to be out of the question. Their attorney went silent. Just locating them, even given the Google, was a major feat, not to mention figuring out how to get their attention. Keep in mind that the whole point of a title system is to enable anyone interested in knowing to figure out precisely who owns a given piece of property. MERS didn’t go out of its way to help inquiring minds on that or any score.

I have never been terribly aggressive when it comes to going after debtors, but at the time we had an associate (now gone on to where she is more appreciated) and occasional reader of this blog who was, to put it mildly, implacable. I handed it over to her with the same alacrity with which she took it on. She got the money, but it wasn’t easy. I’ve no doubt that had it been necessary, she would have had a moving van at the MERS office, assuming there is a brick and mortar office somewhere.

The common thread in both cases is the inability of these banker types to accept that the law isn’t always there to serve their interests. Every once in a while the little guy breaks through, and when he does they simply can’t understand it, and certainly can’t accept that sometimes the rules really do apply to them.

Embarrassing

My God. I keep swearing I’ll never mention Sarah Palin again, but look at this. Sort of reminds me of that beauty contestant from South Carolina, but at least she didn’t pretend she wanted to be president.

You can see that Sarah hasn’t the foggiest and she’s just making it up. In any rational world John McCain would be forced to wear sackcloth and ashes.


Friday Night Music

To the best of my recollection (which I admit is growing hazy as I enter my golden years) I haven’t put up James Brown, which is an omission that demands rectification.


Seymour Hersh on Iran

Good article in this week’s New Yorker. Seems like the wise people are as sure that Iran is building a bomb as they were that Saddam had WMD-and with every bit as much evidence.