As I wrote yesterday, I spent the entire day acting as a checker at my local polling place. As I did so, I documented the exciting events of the day. The reader can decide what conclusions to draw about the level of enthusiasm out there for whatever candidate wins this primary. Personally, I think Chris Murphy has very little to worry about. My notes follow. The numbers recited are absolutely authentic. As you will see it was an exciting day:
6:00 AM. The crush to get in is amazing. At least I think it is, though nobody has shown up yet. Sixteen people voted on an early basis iin the course of last week. That’s the entire town, so that’s a good predictor of what we have in store.
6:21 AM. I have finished my first Sudoku. We still await the entry of the first voter.
7:00 AM. The average hourly rate of enthusiastic Republican voters has now reached Zero!
7:25 AM. There is a crush in the other districts. So far FIVE people have voted in the town of Groton. Our district is obviously an outlier, as the others are so crowded.
7:40 AM. Our first voter! However, turns out she’s a Democrat who thought that there was a Democratic primary.
8:00 AM. First crossword completed and yet another Sudoku. We still await our first voter with eagerness. I’m sure there is some mysterious reason why the Republican enthusiasm for their candidates has not shown its face at this polling location. I’m willing to bet that town wide the number of voters has now swelled beyond 10!
8:30 AM. Our first voter arrives.
9:00 AM. The enthusiasm continue, in that we are enthusiastic about the possibility of getting another voter.
9:15 AM. The second voter arrives! Excitement abounds.
10:00 AM approaches. We are putting up a sign near the road so people driving by will know there’s an election today. Who knows, this may double the pace at which people come in to vote.
10:30 AM. The second Democrat arrives. She said that there was a sign that indicated there was a primary for both parties.
10:45 AM. Two voters, all at one time! Husband and wife.
11:30 AM. It is almost noon, and I last ate at 5:00 AM, so, as we said in German class, “Ich habe hunger”. Two more Democrats arrive and leave. The race is tied, 4 Republicans voted to 4 Democrats with nothing to vote for.
12:30 PM. I no longer habe hunger. While I took my brief lunch, we had no customers. The score is still tied.
1:30 PM. Score still tied. No one has voted since 10:45. Most Republicans appear to be fine with whichever non-entity ends up on the ballot. By the way, I haven’t mentioned their names. They are Gerry Smith and Matthew Corey. You’ve heard of them, haven’t you?
1:45 PM The Republicans pull ahead, 5-4.
2:00 PM Democrats tie the score yet again.
2:15 PM Republicans pull ahead 6-5.
2:25 PM Republicans expand their lead to 8-5. The Democrats are letting us down!
2:26 PM It’s a stampede! Yet another Republican.
3:00 PM We anxiously await another voter. However, we have reason to celebrate, as we are no longer the Groton district with the least number of voters. Also, we know that any minute hour we may ascend into double digits.
3:07 PM It was only minutes! 10 voters in a mere ..wait, here’s another! That makes 11. In a mere 9 hours and 10 minutes. More than one an hour. We are having trouble keeping up.
3:45 PM A Democrat and an Independent (who I’ll lump with the Dems), making the score 11-7.
3:55 PM 11-8.
5:05 PM 11-9
5:30 PM The commuters that usually start coming in after work have not yet arrived. It’s a mystery that will never be solved. How can the voters, Republicans though they be, fail to vote in this exciting election between…, oh, see above.
5:55 PM 11-10.
6:00 PM. We poll workers just figured out that so far we have had 1.95035460993% turnout in this district. One more voter, and we’re over 2%!
6:05 PM. The commuter rush has begun! Score is now 12-10. Over 2%!
6:15 PM. A discussion with the other poll workers. How do any of the folks who come in know how to vote, since chances are they’ve never heard of either candidate. Some are lured to the polling place by a sign on the street that says “Vote Here”. That’s why we’ve gotten so many Democrats. Theoretically you could sit here and google the candidates before you vote, but no one has done that. The only information available on the ballot is their names with an asterisk next to the name of the endorsed candidate.
6:20 PM. Another nut job Republican. There’s been a few of them spewing conspiracy garbage implying that the rules in place enable voter fraud. Score now 13-10.
6:40 PM 14-11.
6:50 PM The Republican who just voted is complaining that she wasn’t told about the primary and it’s someone’s fault.
7:40 PM The end approacheth. The score remains the same.
8:00 PM The day is over. There was 4/7th of a poll worker for each voter, meaning the cost to the town of each vote was about $100. (We do get paid) I stay until everything is wrapped up, but I don’t bother to look to see who got the most votes, because who really cares?
UPDATE OF SORTS: I guess I wasn’t thinking last night. (Not unusual) I meant to post this last night.